FROM BROKEN TO REBUILT: A HEALING ROLE OF DIVORCE LAWYER

As a practitioner in family court, we are often labelled as home breakers, but the reality is far from this misconception. We do not step into marriages to break them apart; we step in when a marriage has already reached a breaking point. Our role is not to encourage separation but to guide individuals toward a resolution—one that allows them to rebuild their lives, free from toxicity, pain, and emotional distress.

Every day, we meet people who are trapped in relationships that drain them mentally, emotionally, and sometimes even physically. Many of them have spent years convincing themselves that things will get better, that a partner will change, or that suffering is simply part of their destiny. They have tolerated manipulation, neglect, financial abuse, and sometimes outright violence, all while holding on to the hope that staying is better than leaving. But when they finally reach us, their spirit is exhausted, their confidence shattered, and their identity lost.

Handling such cases goes far beyond just legal proceedings. The law is only one part of the process; the emotional and psychological toll is another. A divorce lawyer does not just draft petitions and argue in court— we deal with their emotions and help them to overcome emotional turmoil. As a lawyer we listen, we counsel, and we help our clients find their own strength. We understand the guilt that often accompanies the decision to leave. Society, family, and sometimes even close friends may shame them for choosing divorce, making them feel like failures. But we remind them that leaving a toxic relationship is not failure—it is survival, it is self-respect, and above all, it is a step toward a better future. We help them understand that while they are part of society, they do not exist solely to meet its expectations. Their life and well-being are far more valuable than societal stigma.

One of the most challenging aspects of this journey is dealing with emotional manipulation. Many toxic partners refuse to let go easily. They use tactics like gaslighting, threats, emotional blackmail, or even false promises of change to make their spouse doubt their decision. This is where we step in, providing clarity and helping them see patterns of abuse they may have normalized.

Children are often another reason people hesitate to leave. Parents worry about the impact of divorce on their kids, fearing that a broken home will damage them. But in reality, the household filled with anger, violence, and unhappiness have a greater impact on child psychology. A peaceful and dignified, separated family is better than a toxic, united one. As lawyers, we emphasize co-parenting solutions that allow children to grow up in a loving environment, even if their parents are no longer together.

The road to freedom is never easy. Divorce can be emotionally draining, legally complex, and socially challenging. We remind our clients that they have the right to happiness. They have life ahead full of hope, strength and peace. Healing takes time, but it is possible.

Divorce lawyers are not home breakers—we are lifelines and healers. We do not destroy families; we help people rebuild their lives. And that is a purpose worth fighting for.

When parents separate, the most crucial concern in custody battles should be the welfare and best interests of the child. While courts emphasize this principle, the practical implementation often falls short. Legal proceedings tend to focus primarily on granting visitation rights, access schedules, and maintenance orders while overlooking key aspects of a child’s overall well-being.

Child welfare is not just about financial support or regulated access. It extends far beyond that, encompassing mental and emotional health, physical well-being, academic progress, and participation in extracurricular activities. However, these crucial factors rarely receive the attention they deserve in legal proceedings. Courts lacks to evaluate how the child is coping in school, whether they are struggling emotionally, or if they are receiving adequate medical care. This gap in the system leads to an incomplete evaluation of the child’s real needs.

While courts grant school fees and maintenance, there is no structured framework to track the child’s academic progress through school records and report cards, their physical health through medical checkups, or their mental well-being, including signs of stress, anxiety, or behavioral changes. Prolonged legal battles, separation from a parent, and ongoing parental disputes can severely impact a child’s psychological state. Children often develop symptoms like bed-wetting, withdrawal, aggression, or social anxiety— all signs of distress that courts fail to monitor. Without a structured evaluation, a child’s emotional and psychological struggles remain unnoticed, affecting their overall development. As the saying goes, “What is learned in the cradle lasts till the grave.” Early childhood experiences, including the trauma of custody disputes, leave deep imprints on a child’s emotional and psychological well-being, shaping their future relationships and sense of security. Children often mirror the behaviors and values they observe in their parents. When exposed to prolonged conflict, manipulation, or neglect, they may lead to unhealthy relationship dynamics, which can influence their perceptions of love, trust, and stability in adulthood. A fractured upbringing can lead to emotional struggles, affecting their ability to form and sustain healthy relationships in the future.

In many custody disputes, children may express reluctance to meet the non-custodial parent. While courts consider the child’s wishes, it is critical to analyze whether the child is being influenced by the custodial parent, has witnessed domestic violence or experienced abuse, or has a genuine emotional disconnect with the non-custodial parent. Parental manipulation, fear, or past trauma can shape a child’s perspective. A thorough psychological evaluation is necessary to ensure that the child’s reluctance is not a result of coercion or emotional conditioning. “When elephants fight, it is the grass that suffers.” This proverb perfectly illustrates how children are the silent sufferers in legal battle.

To truly safeguard a child’s best interests, courts must appoint an independent child’s lawyer who can act as their voice in legal proceedings and build a bridge between court and the child. This legal representative will ensure that the child’s concerns are not just assumed but are actively addressed and presented before the court. The child’s lawyer ensures that custody decisions reflect the child’s holistic welfare rather than just access and maintenance arrangements. A child’s lawyer can regularly present reports on the child’s academic, emotional, and physical well-being, offering the court a complete picture of how the child is coping.

Often, the custodial parent becomes the child’s spokesperson, influencing the child’s responses and needs. An independent lawyer prevents manipulation by ensuring that the child’s genuine feelings are represented. The lawyer can work closely with educators, medical professionals, and child psychologists to monitor the child’s academic progress, health, and emotional stability.

In cases involving children with disabilities or special needs, an independent lawyer ensures that custody arrangements align with laws such as the Rights of Persons with Disabilities Act, 2016, the Mental Healthcare Act, 2017, and other relevant welfare laws for children with autism, cerebral palsy, or other challenges.

Courts should also involve experts like child psychologists, psychiatrists, and social workers to assess the child’s emotional well-being. Their expert evaluations can help make informed custody decisions that prioritize the child’s mental health and stability.

Child custody decisions should not be limited to maintenance orders and visitation rights. The true well-being of the child lies in ensuring their emotional, academic, and physical health are actively monitored and legally protected. By appointing independent child’s lawyers and establishing structured monitoring frameworks, courts can move towards a more child-centric approach in custody battles. After all, a child’s future should never be a mere byproduct of legal proceedings—it should be the central focus.

• ADV. SHRADDHA DALVI